The Myth About Happiness

Today I’m not telling you another secret of happiness as usual. However, I’m going to reveal a myth around happiness that many people get trapped in.

And by knowing about this myth, you’ll be happier than 10 seconds ago when you started reading this post hehe.

The myth is that most people have their happiness attached to something else such as money, sex, appearance, or somebody else such as parents, spouse, friends, even strangers.

Let’s take a couple of examples. I love examples :)

There’s a man named Joe (Joe again hoho). He works hard and so hard, thinking “I am happy only when I can earn 20,000 thousand dollars this month” 

When Joe couldn’t earn that amount of money, oh no it’s like hell for him. 

Even when Joe can achieve that $20,000, he’s still not happy because the guy next door is making more money than him. 

That’s what I mean by “having their happiness attached to other things”.

Now let’s come to Mary. She always always worries about what others are thinking about her, her size, her makeup, her dresses, her heels, etc.

 If people say “Mary you look good”, she doubts. 

If people say she looks not so good, she’s down. 

That’s what I mean by “having happiness attached to other people”

Most of us, more or less, have been in Joe’s and Mary’s shoes several times. Well, haven’t you?

If you let your happiness attached to others but not you, your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own actions, then the ship of your life will be forever pushed around by the uncertain baffling waves.

So captain, do you want to steer your own ship?

From Ruby,

For your happiness

Secret 5: What a wonderful world!

Today I’ll tell you another secret of happiness. Ah hah! Ssst!
A simple secret that has been revealed for thousands of year.
However, we always tend to forget about it.
That’s why it becomes secret again.

The secret is: We are living in an amazingly beautiful world! A world that in every way is designed to bring us love, joy, and fulfillment.
Yes, we're surrounded by beauties, from small to big, from tangible to intangible, from simple to sophisticated. We could see them, hear them, and feel them in every single moment of our life.

Let’s take my day today for example. I woke up in the crystal sunlight falling on the window, while some little birds were perpetually rehearsing for a “chirrup symphony”. It was just too lovely that I couldn't help loving it!

Then I saw a young baby crying on the bus. That was beautiful too, the way he showed desire for love, care, and growth with his pure innocence. His mouth was so big and he looked like he was laughing (hoho)

I worked at the IT show today. And was so amazed by how rapidly the technology had been innovated since the last show. That’s an incredible beauty of human being’s creativity, intelligence, and hard work!

During the show, I had great chance to work with enthusiastic people in my team. That was so beautiful! Selling to customers was beautiful too. Serving them on their inquiries, communicating to get the idea across, and persuading them to buy, all were exciting. Selling is really an art, a science and a continuous learning journey!

My greatly respected friend, Jason, helped to find support to enroll me in a course that I had thought it could only happen in my dreams. Friendship is such a wonder!

…

There were so many marvelous things happened today. It might take me forever to describe them in words. As I mention above, beauties always surround us in every single moment.
The key is:
Pay attention to them, grab them, appreciate them, and celebrate them!
Then beauties will embrace us forever, bringing us unlimited joy.

From Ruby,
For your happiness

Secret 4: Stop complaining

Sometimes I’m really amazed by how easily people can get annoyed nowadays. They complain about weather and traffic, about politics and economics. They complain about their husband or wife, about colleagues and boss. They complain about “lousy” service at some restaurant then complain that their customers complain too much! Basically people can complain about whatever and whoever under the sun. Tsk tsk, does it sound familiar to anyone?

Why do people have to complain? Because they are so unfortunate that life always ill-treats them? And bad things always happen to them, never happen to others? No, I don’t believe so.

So why do we have to complain? Let me ask you a question. After throwing your complaints to someone else, how do you feel?

Complaining to the restaurant manager, he will come and massage your mood, giving you some free dish or drink maybe. Now you feel good because you’re the “king”.

Complaining to your friends and they will start: “oh ya, public transport nowadays is terrible! Buses always come late! Got traffic jam some more!” Now you feel good because now you’ve got others’ agreement and sympathy.

Hanging a complaint on your Facebook’s status, people will “like” and “comment”. Now you feel good because you’ve got the attention.

So complaining make us feel good. Hence we keep complaining.

I’ll tell you a story. There was a handsome man called Joe. Once Joe was bored or stressed, he lighted up a cigarette. Then he felt good. Another time, when Joe was bored or stressed, he lighted up another cigarette. Then he would feel really good again. Another time of another time, when Joe was bored or stressed, blah blah… Slowly he became addicted to the nicotine. Joe knew it was unhealthy. However he kept ignoring it, since smoking could make him feel so good. Until one day, his doctor told him “Sorry handsome Joe, you’ve got an incurable lung cancer.” He died 3 months after that.

Did cigarette kill Joe? No, cigarette doesn’t know how to kill. Simple, if you get shot by a robber, it’s not the gun but the robber that kills you. In other words, Joe killed himself by his smoking habit. Joe is not alone. Around the world, there’re about 5.4 million people choose to kill themselves by smoking habit each year.

Similar to smoking, complaining about whatever and whoever might make you feel better at the moment but will inject chronic poison into your life. Every time you complain, you’ve lighted up a cigarette to kill your happiness. Do you notice that the more you complain the more bad things and bad people you seem to hook up with? Do you know some complainer who has a pretty normal life but to him/her, life is like hell?

 And unfortunately, there’ll be no doctor to tell you: “Sorry, you’ve got an incurable happiness cancer!” This “cancer” is intangible. Even when you feel miserable about your life (that’s the symptom), you might not know the root cause.

So,

Happiness or misery?

 It’s your choice. You can choose to be “Joe” and other 5.4 million people who choose to kill themselves every year. And you’re responsible for your own decision.

“It’s not what happens that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s how you perceive it.”

From Ruby,

For your happiness

P.S: If you choose not to be a smoker, don't be a second-hand smoker because you've got an equal chance of getting cancer. Stay away from the negativity of complainers!