Your life, your miracle

This post is especially written for people who don’t believe in miracle. Well, I know you do (??!) However, sometimes when everything turns black and blue, will you still believe?

So I’m gonna share with you a miracle – the one that you’ve been keeping for whole life unknowingly. 

It’s simple. You can find this miracle just by answering the one and only question: how did you come into this life?

In our modern day, average couple give birth when they’re 25 to 30 years old. But in the past, it used to be much earlier. So we’ll take it as 20 years old. And let’s say today all of us are 20 sweet 20, ya? Now let’s take a journey to the past.

20 years ago, 2 people must be alive in order to give birth to you and the only you. Of course they’re your parents. So where were your parents from?

40 years ago, 4 people must be alive in order to give birth to your mommy and your daddy. They are your grandparents. So again, where were your grandparents from?

60 years ago, 8 people must be alive in order to give birth to your grandparents. They are your grand-grandparents.

80 years ago, that number was 16 people.

….

500 hundred years ago, can you believe it? 33 554 432 people must be alive at that point of time in order for you to exist today. That means one tenth of the whole world’s population 500 years ago were living just for you, regardless of wars, regardless of natural disasters, regardless of diseases, etc. Every single person in that 33 554 432 people must be living so that they could pass on life to you today.

How about 600 years ago?

700 years ago?

A thousand years ago?

At this moment, if you’re still breathing, aren’t you carrying a miracle within? Aren’t you carrying hope and life of millions of people?

By the way, at the very first beginning of your life, among 50 million to 500 million sperms, you were the only one who won the race to the egg, weren’t you? The rest of those 50-500 million sperms were desperate to step into this life but only you made it.

So yes, even before you were born, you had already been a miraculous being, an extraordinary champion, and a unique gift. What a pride!

This life is more than precious, right? Isn’t it a miracle itself? Now I’ve shared with you your legacy. What are you going to do with it?

Acknowledgement: I would like to express my thankfulness to my teacher - Allan Cheung who taught me this amazing lesson.

The Myth About Happiness - Part 2

I'm so glad to learn a few more interesting things these days that I can't help sharing with you all! Here we go!


Happiness is always defined subjectively, isn't it? I've been investing time and effort to understand it, because to me, it's the ultimate purpose that we're living for.
However, I still couldn't define it concretely. And I don't want to do it anyways, for a simple reason: it's subjective. Just think of how your ideas about happiness have been changed over time, since you were a little kid until now?

I remember an African woman said "Having clean water here is development, is happiness to us" on BBC's Planet Earth.

In Vietnam, very often on TV you can find some children define "happiness" as being able to go to school.

When I heard them saying so, it was really painful! They are living under the means, hence their definition of "happiness" is utterly simple. If happiness were just that simple, most of us who have more than basic means to survive should be already madly happy. Why aren't we?

Few months ago, I watched a video from Anthony Robbins. He saids "feeling is actually what we're all after". Do you love being kissed by your husband/wife (or boyfriend/girlfriend for those who haven't married)? I know you do hehe. Okie, would you still feel the same enjoyment if some stranger on the street kissed you exactly the way your "significant other" would? It's the feeling when you're kissed, not the kiss itself that you're after, isn't it?

I was really excited when listening to Anthony. It helps me to explain soooooo many things that are happening around, running people's life.

However, my question is: what is that ultimate feeling that we desire? I would say "happiness". Do you want to do something or be with someone that makes you unhappy? Yeah, in the end, it's always "happiness" that we pursuit. Whether you're conscious about this or not, it's the reason behind all our thoughts, all our actions.

So what's so great about this? Certainly it's such a precious information to me! It made me sleepless a few nights, thinking of how to live a happy life and how to help others live a happy life at the same time.

Yes, we're all chasing "happiness", every single second in our life. However, many of us haven't known or have forgotten this real reason. They end up trying to catch the reflection of the moon on the water, thinking it's the real moon. That's why they can never catch it. That's why they're never satisfied. And that’s what I mean by “having the happiness attached to other things and other people" in my previous post.

Since happiness is what we're after, and happiness is a feeling, my question for all of us is: who creates your feeling? Aren't you the one? Are you happy right now? If you're, congratulations! If not, why?...

For your happiness
Ruby :) :) :)

The Myth About Happiness

Today I’m not telling you another secret of happiness as usual. However, I’m going to reveal a myth around happiness that many people get trapped in.

And by knowing about this myth, you’ll be happier than 10 seconds ago when you started reading this post hehe.

The myth is that most people have their happiness attached to something else such as money, sex, appearance, or somebody else such as parents, spouse, friends, even strangers.

Let’s take a couple of examples. I love examples :)

There’s a man named Joe (Joe again hoho). He works hard and so hard, thinking “I am happy only when I can earn 20,000 thousand dollars this month” 

When Joe couldn’t earn that amount of money, oh no it’s like hell for him. 

Even when Joe can achieve that $20,000, he’s still not happy because the guy next door is making more money than him. 

That’s what I mean by “having their happiness attached to other things”.

Now let’s come to Mary. She always always worries about what others are thinking about her, her size, her makeup, her dresses, her heels, etc.

 If people say “Mary you look good”, she doubts. 

If people say she looks not so good, she’s down. 

That’s what I mean by “having happiness attached to other people”

Most of us, more or less, have been in Joe’s and Mary’s shoes several times. Well, haven’t you?

If you let your happiness attached to others but not you, your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own actions, then the ship of your life will be forever pushed around by the uncertain baffling waves.

So captain, do you want to steer your own ship?

From Ruby,

For your happiness

Secret 5: What a wonderful world!

Today I’ll tell you another secret of happiness. Ah hah! Ssst!
A simple secret that has been revealed for thousands of year.
However, we always tend to forget about it.
That’s why it becomes secret again.

The secret is: We are living in an amazingly beautiful world! A world that in every way is designed to bring us love, joy, and fulfillment.
Yes, we're surrounded by beauties, from small to big, from tangible to intangible, from simple to sophisticated. We could see them, hear them, and feel them in every single moment of our life.

Let’s take my day today for example. I woke up in the crystal sunlight falling on the window, while some little birds were perpetually rehearsing for a “chirrup symphony”. It was just too lovely that I couldn't help loving it!

Then I saw a young baby crying on the bus. That was beautiful too, the way he showed desire for love, care, and growth with his pure innocence. His mouth was so big and he looked like he was laughing (hoho)

I worked at the IT show today. And was so amazed by how rapidly the technology had been innovated since the last show. That’s an incredible beauty of human being’s creativity, intelligence, and hard work!

During the show, I had great chance to work with enthusiastic people in my team. That was so beautiful! Selling to customers was beautiful too. Serving them on their inquiries, communicating to get the idea across, and persuading them to buy, all were exciting. Selling is really an art, a science and a continuous learning journey!

My greatly respected friend, Jason, helped to find support to enroll me in a course that I had thought it could only happen in my dreams. Friendship is such a wonder!

…

There were so many marvelous things happened today. It might take me forever to describe them in words. As I mention above, beauties always surround us in every single moment.
The key is:
Pay attention to them, grab them, appreciate them, and celebrate them!
Then beauties will embrace us forever, bringing us unlimited joy.

From Ruby,
For your happiness

Secret 4: Stop complaining

Sometimes I’m really amazed by how easily people can get annoyed nowadays. They complain about weather and traffic, about politics and economics. They complain about their husband or wife, about colleagues and boss. They complain about “lousy” service at some restaurant then complain that their customers complain too much! Basically people can complain about whatever and whoever under the sun. Tsk tsk, does it sound familiar to anyone?

Why do people have to complain? Because they are so unfortunate that life always ill-treats them? And bad things always happen to them, never happen to others? No, I don’t believe so.

So why do we have to complain? Let me ask you a question. After throwing your complaints to someone else, how do you feel?

Complaining to the restaurant manager, he will come and massage your mood, giving you some free dish or drink maybe. Now you feel good because you’re the “king”.

Complaining to your friends and they will start: “oh ya, public transport nowadays is terrible! Buses always come late! Got traffic jam some more!” Now you feel good because now you’ve got others’ agreement and sympathy.

Hanging a complaint on your Facebook’s status, people will “like” and “comment”. Now you feel good because you’ve got the attention.

So complaining make us feel good. Hence we keep complaining.

I’ll tell you a story. There was a handsome man called Joe. Once Joe was bored or stressed, he lighted up a cigarette. Then he felt good. Another time, when Joe was bored or stressed, he lighted up another cigarette. Then he would feel really good again. Another time of another time, when Joe was bored or stressed, blah blah… Slowly he became addicted to the nicotine. Joe knew it was unhealthy. However he kept ignoring it, since smoking could make him feel so good. Until one day, his doctor told him “Sorry handsome Joe, you’ve got an incurable lung cancer.” He died 3 months after that.

Did cigarette kill Joe? No, cigarette doesn’t know how to kill. Simple, if you get shot by a robber, it’s not the gun but the robber that kills you. In other words, Joe killed himself by his smoking habit. Joe is not alone. Around the world, there’re about 5.4 million people choose to kill themselves by smoking habit each year.

Similar to smoking, complaining about whatever and whoever might make you feel better at the moment but will inject chronic poison into your life. Every time you complain, you’ve lighted up a cigarette to kill your happiness. Do you notice that the more you complain the more bad things and bad people you seem to hook up with? Do you know some complainer who has a pretty normal life but to him/her, life is like hell?

 And unfortunately, there’ll be no doctor to tell you: “Sorry, you’ve got an incurable happiness cancer!” This “cancer” is intangible. Even when you feel miserable about your life (that’s the symptom), you might not know the root cause.

So,

Happiness or misery?

 It’s your choice. You can choose to be “Joe” and other 5.4 million people who choose to kill themselves every year. And you’re responsible for your own decision.

“It’s not what happens that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s how you perceive it.”

From Ruby,

For your happiness

P.S: If you choose not to be a smoker, don't be a second-hand smoker because you've got an equal chance of getting cancer. Stay away from the negativity of complainers! 

Secret 3: The purpose of life is a life of purpose.

We know that we’re the captain of the ship of our own life, either we drive it or we will be baffling pushed around. True no true?

So captain, where are you steering your ship to?

In other words, do you have a purpose?

If yes, congratulations! (No need to read any further hoho)

If no, why don’t you have one?

It’s always painful whenever I receive the answer “no”, or “I don’t know”, or “I’m not sure” from anybody.

Now, take a look at the things surround you. The computer which you’re sticking your eyes to is there for you to work, right? The mobile phone on the table is there for you to communicate, right? So the table is there for you to put that computer and that telephone on, isn’t it? Is the chair you’re sitting on there for you to…sit? (That’s right hehe!!!) Just spend a few second to look around the room, is every single big or little thing there with a purpose?

Yeah, human beings create all those things with clear purposes. And you are a human being, why don’t you have a purpose in your life?

My friends, I believe everybody has an in-born purpose, passion and talent. And I believe you do believe so, yeah? It’d already been made for us even before we came into this life.

But unfortunately, when we grow up, most of us are taught about making our living, not living our making. How many of you are lucky enough have parents or teachers who unconditionally encourage and support you to follow your passion? Not many I guess. What kind of advices do you get from people when you’re at some critical turning point in your life? Something like “apply for a job with a high salary” or “choose a university course that you’ll be able to earn a lot when you graduate” sound familiar?

I guess that why a lot of us are subconsciously and consciously wandering “what the heck am I doing in this life?” That’s why a lot of us are living in comfort but are not happy, never feel fulfilled. That’s why s lot of us go to work or school only to look forward to the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the year, public holidays, blah blah. That is considered existing, not living, my friend. Think about it! Do you want to spend your whole lifetime just existing on this over-populated planet, serving no purpose for yourself and others? "In the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." (Abraham Lincoln)

Now let me ask you a question. What will you do when you find something that has no purpose inside your room? That’s right, you’ll throw it away immediately, won’t you.

No one can throw a person away the way you throw your stuffs. But hey, let’s look at last year recession, how many people were retrenched? How many people became broke, became jobless, became depressed? I know it’s sad for them and their family. And it sounds a bit cruel to say this but I want to really truly make this point clear. My friends, that’s the way life throw people aside. The reason is simply because they are not serving their purpose. When they are not serving the purpose, they can’t excel. When they don’t excel, they will be pushed out sooner or later.

Think about it. Can you marry someone you’re not interested in? Similarly, can you excellently do something that you don’t love? No! Of course not! And what happen when we’re not good enough? We’ll lose! It’s true to any game, any sport, and competition. And it’s true in life, but in a more subtle way.

However, the good news is: you have an enormous ability to be good, to be wonderful on doing what you love. Yes! That’s the only time you can truly really excel.

So:

What are your dreams? What are your goals?

What are you passionate about?

Who do you want to be?

What value can you add to your own life and others’ life?

….

Then which side you want to be at?

Living or Existing?

Winning or Losing?

Happiness or Sadness?

Empowerment or Depression?

It’s your choice. You’re responsible for your own decision. So make a choice now. Now or never!

From Ruby,

For your happiness :)

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Secret 2: The happiness tripod

In my first post, we know that we are the captain who steer the ship of our own life, right? And we wish to direct it to a happy-wonderland, don’t we?

So captain, have you ever asked yourself what you need to have in order to achieve 100% happiness, meaning you’re absolutely satisfied in every aspect of your life?

Some people would come out with a long long long list of what they want: big car and big house, high income and high status, great friends and great partner, nice body and nice branded goods, blah and blah…

In short, there are 3 main concentrated factors that appear when a person possesses “the ultimate happiness”: finance, health, and relationship. I consider them as the 3 legs of the happiness tripod (see image)

I call it a tripod simply because when any of the 3 legs is weak or missing, you’ll find your life out of balance or worst of all – collapsed. After all, a well-balanced life is what most people aim for. (The key word is “balance”) Yes, we all need 3 of them to be strong. We all long for them. We are all working hard to achieve them. Don’t we?

I guess the tripod is interesting. But it is not the answer for my initial question: “What do you need to have in order to achieve 100% happiness?”

Now, don’t be confused. Let’s say we are going to participate in a race to the “ultimate happiness”. That balanced tripod will be the medal given at the end of the race. My question focuses on what we need to have at the moment in order to complete the race. (Yeah, now it’s no more confusing hehe)

As simple as running a marathon, you need nothing but yourself, my friends. That’s the answer: all you need is a right you.

Why a “right you”? Again, as simple as running a marathon, the athletes need to be physically trained. We, the marathoners on the race to our ultimate happiness also need to be trained well, but mostly mentally.

Now the question is: how to be a “right you”? Secrets will be revealed further in coming posts

From Ruby,

For your happiness

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